What is Marriage?
‘Marriage is a bond between two people that no one else understands. A partnership that gets each other through life when you need each other the most and share the most amazing experiences with.’
This is what marriage meant to me.
When you have a right life partner beside you life becomes so easy. Like any other girl I have also dreamt of getting married some day.
But being a person with disability (Spina Bifida) I always had this thought that who will marry me? Considering I might be a liability for someone, I might have to be taken care of after all who wants a burden in their life. And even my parents had the same concerns; they never thought of my marriage or me being in a relationship.
We always had discussions about my education, which career I should take ahead and about my health or medical concerns. But we never spoke about love or marriage and I never initiated conversation in that section of my life.
I feel parents and children should have heart to heart conversations about these things after children come to a right age as it’s important to understand each other’s point of view about these things in life.
And often parents have this concern about who will take care of my child after they are no more. It is assumed that it is the responsibility of a sibling to take care of the brother or sister in future. But the sibling might have other plans or wants to pursue a different career where we don’t fit in their life journey.
We have this preconceived notion about love that we see in movies that is all so beautiful and fairy but life is not a movie. There will be a lot of ups and downs in life which a person has to go through. I feel falling in love is easy but being in love with that same person becomes difficult over the years.
Being a person with a disability sometimes we are hesitant to share our feelings for that person. What others will think about me if I say this?. Since childhood we are judged for whatever we do in life, fear and past experiences comes in the way of finding love.
Before getting married I feel it’s important to communicate about your health conditions or related issues that come with it with your partner, after all you are sharing your life with him. And your partner should be aware of these things. If these things are not disclosed before marriage it can create a huge problem in your relationship later on
and your perception about having a child. As in some cases it becomes difficult to conceive, so in that case whether both of you are ready for adoption or IVF. These are
some difficult conversations to have but it’s important to talk about these aspects of your life.
Be transparent and clear about your needs with each other as it will help in navigating your relationship.
It is also important to understand that your partner’s family might not accept you with your disability, you might have to face family rejection but that’s life. We can’t change that person or family’s perception. But if we have a right partner by our side to support throughout these difficult times then that person is truly a blessing.
You and your partner both have to keep patience in terms of understanding each other. Your partner will take time to understand your disability and other health related issues associated with it.
Sometimes Loving someone might not seem easy but if you have that trust and faith in eachother it will make your journey easy and fruitful.
Love can come in most unexpected ways in your life. But sometimes it gets difficult to sail through the journey.
But never stop giving life a chance as it might put a googlie and you never know love might be right standing in front of your door.